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28 November 2005 @ 09:09 pm
hey well my "best friend"brittany is telin me im a hoe basically b.c i had sex with 3 ppl and 2 of thme were mistakes shes tellin me how if she didnt know me she would think ima slut bc of the places i did it with antonio but u know what she dont need to tell me how she would never do that i dotn think she remembers how she lost her virginity oh ya the guy had a girlfriend and was talkin to ME! she dont remember how she had sex with antonio in MY HOUSE! in MY BATHROOM! no shes to good to remember that shit but i guess im the hoe b.c i luv him she the one messing with another girls man. then on top of that she said io have no selfcontrol i do but ya i shouldnt have fucked tonios cuzin nor cavin(yet) but she was fucking the person im in LOVE WITH AT MY HOUSE!!!!!!! but im the one with no self control get real and shes sayin im easy! umm no im not y the fuck she so worried bout someone who she said aint even a good friend thats what she says all the time well i dont care what she thinks i know the truth like my nigga june says dont listen to other peoples words im the boss they dont mean shit to me and if sum isnt sayin sumthing to make me happy then y listen to them
but i unno the only people i thinkare truely down for wateva and is gunna luv me ofr me no matter what is edwin eugene thacker jr and sherrese maypella brandes and those are the only people i care about bc they aint EVER gunna talk shit bout me! and be true with me and never think im a slut!!!!

but wateva
luv always
LoLa< still it even without that nigga
p.s. i gotta continue life liek i was still with tonio b.c he would still want me to cesied(cant spell) and i know he still luves me even if he with her and hell be back when the time is right for him i actually dont even really think they together either so im good i luv him with all my heart and nothing will change that ever and he knows that!
Current Music: eminem- love you more
26 November 2005 @ 09:18 pm
well....... life is so complicated u think sumone luvs u and then they hurt u in the worse way possible!!!!!! okay deep down i wanna take him back if i had the chance but he keep breakin my heart steppin on it and shit its because he knows that ill take him back no matter wat! well i got a man that loves me now june and i wihs i could say i feel the same! i mean its not that i dont love june because i honestly truly do its just i cant trust him and i dotn kno if i should believe wat he says to me.... ive always cared a lot bout june since freshman year but hes a whore! a girl said a baby was his and it ended up not being his now he thinks he got a lil girl when he get out! and i dont want all that shit in my life i got enough drama now i dont need no baby momma drama and shit! i really wish i could just have my one and only Antonio back we belong together and i hope to god he reliezes it soon but i unno....
life is confusing bc purell really likes me and i like him but then theres Cavin he said hed break up with his girl for me which he might but all he wants is to have sex so iunno but i dont matter who im with Purell Antonio June Cavin my parents will nva be satisfied!!!! if i stay with june all im gunna hear bout is how he was in jail and everything and how he too old and shit FUCK THEM! he treats me so damn good! or if i go back with tonio all ill hear is he gunna hump and dump me it aitn like dat! and how he only want sex and how he treats me so bad and how eh too old also and how he gunna cheat and hurt me again BUT ULL NVA EXPERIENCE TRUE LOVE TILL U GET HURT!!!!!! thats my husband for llife we will always be together and i know i say he aitn tihnkin bout me but i know deep down he still loves me more then he WILL EVER EVER love lena! i kno that when he hears certain songs or do certain things he thinkin bout me or when hes mad and cant get happy he probably thinking bout me but wateva dont need the bullshit ill give it a little while it will all come back together! i kno for a fact he knows we always gunna be together people think he dotn really care bout me but i know the truth but i unno maybe im jsut crazy in love and will believe anytihng that nigga say.

i swear this nigga mean so much to me i never ever thought i would find sum1 who always treated me so good(before)and put me before everytihng (almost) and Love me unconditionaly! he made me feel so good bout myself and at the same time so bad! i unno i really believe well be back together ***** if u love somthing let it go if it comes back to u its yours if not it neva was**** < he came bacl once hell be back again he knows im his for life!

thanks sherrese for being there for me your like my consuler your my one and only TRUE best friend luv ya girl glad shits straight with u and Jajuan
love always
Fujis Wifey Lola
Current Mood: depresseddepressed
Current Music: and i- ciara
18 November 2005 @ 11:23 pm
well obviously antonio is a lier he knew all that shit lena was sayin was goin on cuz he called me and left me a message sayin to nva fuckin call him agian and that he loved lena.... well i aint nva been so hurt in my life! i hated him but i still luv him im so fuckin stupid why to i wanna go back to a nigga that is gunna consantly hurt me over and over agian!!!!!!! i swear if he would just call me i would be so happy! i hope and pray he'll be back everyone tells me he will be even his cuzin brianna but that cuz me and her are cool...but EVERYONE knows he loves me his family and coworkers and ALL of his niggas please believe he dont love that skank ass nasty muthafuckin whore LENA! but i called him a couple days ago and he was at work im assuming and he called back btu i was sleeping! so obviusly he didnt get mad i called cuz he woulda left me a voice mail hollering at me! i swear to god that was the best 1yr and 2weeks in my life even though he hurt me alot in that time i still love him so0o0 much i kno for a fact he still luov me too i aint THAT dumb!

but anyways omg i gotta HOTTT!!!!!!! new neighbor named Cavin me and him arre probably gunna end up going together for a minute but i tihnk i really really like purell and he startin to hate me for tlkin to Cavin but i unno ill figure out wat to do!!

June Gets Out April 18th!!!!!!!!!!

luv always
Current Mood: sadsad
Current Music: mariah carey- dont forget about us!
05 November 2005 @ 09:52 pm
well things with tonio are ALOT better! that shit with lena he didnt know that was going on and he hates her so i kno he aitn out doin me wrong! he loves me so much we hung out tuesday and thursday and he told me he loved me so many times those days it was so perfect everything is so perfect most of the time but others i get so heated over nothing!
but other then that i'm bout to really be with purell he like me a lot he so adorable he sucha sweetheart. then raheem(fujis cuzin) called last night and was tellin me shit bout fuji makin it seem like he doin me wrong that nigga got me so god damn heated i was sooo pissed the fuck off!
shit with brittany kinda gettin betta i guess i aint gettin pissed bout us not talkin and really kickin it i guess i found out that i really only have two true friends that really care bout me sherrese and antonio i luv them both! they forever there for me no matter what shit they going thru they still have time to let me know they care and help me thru my shit!
monkey- dont worry i really believe shit with u and jajaun will straighten out he luv u shit just a lil carzy right now! im here for u just holla nigga i got chu!
gosh..... shit with tonio really have gotten a lot better im startin to relieze all over again why i luv him as much as i do! he care so much about me even when im lettin him kno how much i hate that nigga still sayin he love me i kno he aint doin me wrong he care to much to fuck this shit up on the real tho! but chu already kno! lol damn i miss the niggas he used to kick it with but i unno i luv him with all my heart even tho im startin to kick it with purell and still kinda talkin to lindsey sumtimes aint nuttin ever gunna change i luv him and noone will ever ever take his place in my heart in a million years we seriously gun be together forever!!!

luv always
fujis wifey lola!

fuji and lola 10/22/04!!!!!
Current Mood: happyhappy
Current Music: lil mo 4ever
01 November 2005 @ 05:04 pm
hey well today and last night SUCKED i never been so hurt in my life i feel like somebody stabbed me in my heart! a billion thoughts have ran thru my head over and over again! i keeping asking myself the same questions why and how could he do this to me knowing how i feel! for a year now we been together and i think a year might be as long as its gun be! how could he lie to me all the time saying he loves me evidently he doesnt! i dont get how yesterday he could be sayin he loves me then a couple hours later havin lena call my fone and be sayin they together! but wateva in the end its his lost i DONT NEED A NIGGA that gon HURT me A BILLION TRILLION TIMES and be DUMB enough to believe hes actually sorry when he said it YA RIGHT! he doesnt relieze the shit i have been thru all FOR HIM! so i unno wat to do im gun try not to call but i aint gott worry hell be back and relieze that girl brought him down and put him in a depresion adn she aint gunna help out with the family shit he is going thru right now and she just gunna fuck his life up more he'll find out how good he had it with me he'll go back to a trick that forever lieing and CHEATING on him which i could never ever ahve the adasity to do that to him but fuck that nigga im gunna move on my nigga june almost outta jail and that nigga says he loves me and ACTUALLY MEANS IT!!!!!!!! unlike a fake ass nigga named antoino deshan gibson! and before june get back im bout to go with PURELL dukes-burnett! cuz thats the SEXIEST NIGGA(almost) At south lake besides my sexy lindsey turner aka big daddy id go with him but he a hoe but a sexy one!!! i should get his nigga shauns numba(ya donkey) lol just playin!
but other then tonios problems i got brittany my so called "best Friend" being dumb sayin i aint there for her when really i am but fuck it i dont give a fuck anymore!

Sherrese girl THANK YOU SOo0o0 MUCH FOR ALWAYS ALWAYS BEING THERE FOR ME NO MATTER WAT YOUR A TRUE BEST FRIEND!!!!! DONT WORRY I GOT U NO MATTA WAT TOO! thanks for being there at school today i had no one to talk to and didnt wanna talk to the counsler again today i was just there yesterday and i knew youd be there for me we niggas for life! i hope shit with u and jajuan straightens out but yall gunn be together for a long time unlike me and antonio its a RAP AND CUT! but its all good "WHAT DONT KILL YOU MAKES YOU STRONGER!" but i luv ya girlie just holla !

love always
Jen (nomore jenniefers nor lola)
Current Mood: sadsad
Current Music: cd i made 4 tonio with lov songs on it :-(
29 October 2005 @ 06:23 pm
BORED.... thinkin bout bein wiht my baby so im gunna write in herre!!! god if anyone knew exactly the truth bout me and fujis relationship theyd really usdertand whhy we stay together! we was talkin last nite and he was tellin me how im the ONLY person thats there for him no matter what hes going thru and try to help him not even the nasty-nappy-headed-man-lookin-whore-lena is there for him and never was,and i know no matter what people try to get me to believe he isnt out doin me wrong EVER so all the haters need to back off. he wouldnt do anything to fuck this up he honestly cares so0o0 much bout me now, hes the only person thats actually has EVER cared bout and hes the only person i have anymore and even though he goin thru all his shit rite now and foreva bein busy he tries to be there for me if i need him.

but besides the love of my life the only otha person there for me no matta wat and is down for wateva is my bestestest friend for life Sherrese M. Gains(Jajuans Wifey 4Life) i swear she the only true friend i have ever had shes there for me and is like my counsler she always remindin me my nigga love me when im hatin on him and in case she dont already kno im alwys there for her too and down for wateva all she gotta do is holla and when she let jajuan kno wats up about everything if he leaves WHICH HE WONT EVA LET THAT SHIT GET IN THE WAY i will beat his ass because aint no nigga gun hurt her and im his best friend lol so hell listen to me but girl u aint got shit to worry bout yall like me and fuji together forever!!!!

well gettin long
luv always
Current Mood: lonelylonely
Current Music: monica for you i will
29 October 2005 @ 02:16 pm
god im so annoyed bitched at south lake dumb as hell foreva talkin shit them sayin its chu but theyall fitin too get theirs someday soon! missing my nigga fuji ineed him he foreva busy but we talked thats nite and straightened shyt out with him found out he really aint doin me wrong hopefully i get to c him tomorrow i luv that nigga so much but i cant take much more!

luv always fujiswifey lola
Current Mood: annoyedannoyed
Current Music: one wish ray-j